Why Transitions Are So Hard with ADHD (How to Make Them Easier)

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Today, I want to talk about something that comes up all the time with in life: transitions.

What Are Transitions?

When I say "transitions," I mean the act of shifting from one thing to another—whether it’s from one activity to another or moving from one place to the next. It's a common concept in therapy, and for folks with ADHD and other neurodivergent profiles, transitions can be uniquely challenging.

Why? Because transitions are more than just physical changes—they often require a mental gear shift that uses up a lot of energy.

Why Transitions Feel So Hard

If you have ADHD, you might feel "stuck" in an activity—especially one you really enjoy—and find it almost impossible to switch to something less appealing. Even if the next task isn’t bad, per se, it still takes effort to break your focus and move.

For example:
👉 Stopping a Netflix episode to pay bills
👉 Leaving your cozy reading nook to start getting ready for bed
👉 Switching from one location to another, even if both are enjoyable

This isn’t just procrastination. It’s about attention regulation and energy management.

The Energy Cost of Switching Tasks

Transitions often require more mental energy for people with ADHD. It’s not about laziness—it’s about brain wiring.

Where a neurotypical person might use a small portion of energy to stop and start activities, someone with ADHD may burn a much larger share of their daily "energy budget" doing the same thing. So if you’ve ever felt exhausted just trying to make yourself shift gears, this is why.

The “Double Jump” Problem

Sometimes, transitions feel especially hard because you’re not just switching tasks—you’re making what I call a “double jump.” That means you’re going from something you really enjoy to something you really don’t want to do, skipping right over a neutral zone.

For example:
📖 Reading → 🛏 Gearing down for sleep (which might come with anxiety, pressure, or frustration)

That jump is steep. It’s like trying to leap over a canyon without a bridge.

A Real-Life Example: Jenna’s Story

Let me introduce you to “Jenna” (not her real name), one of my clients who was trying to build healthier habits—like getting to bed earlier. The problem? She loved reading at night and couldn’t seem to stop, even when she wanted to.

Here’s what we uncovered:

Reading was her only personal time in a busy day
She has young kids, including some with special needs
Bedtime brought anxiety due to long-standing insomnia
The transition felt emotionally and mentally overwhelming

So we created a neutral middle step: instead of going straight from reading to sleep, she added a short word game session in between. It worked. It gave her brain something less intense than reading, but not as stressful as going to bed right away.

How You Can Make Transitions Easier

If transitions are hard for you, try approaching them from three angles:

1. Make the “Fun” Task Easier to Stop

Read in a less cozy space
Pick a genre that’s easier to put down
Set a timer with a gentle reminder
Read at a different time of day

2. Make the “Hard” Task Easier to Start

Add something you enjoy to the experience (like music, candles, or comfy clothes)
Remove friction (e.g., prep your sleep space earlier)
Use sensory cues to ease anxiety

3. Create a Neutral Middle Step

This is your transition object—an activity or item that helps bridge the gap. For kids, this could be a toy they carry between spaces. For adults, it might be:

A simple game
A light snack or tea
Journaling or doodling
A short playlist or podcast episode

Let’s Address the “I Should Just Do It” Mindset

A lot of people with ADHD tell themselves, “I should just do it. Just push through.” And yes, sometimes you can white-knuckle your way through a transition—but it often comes at a high energy cost. What might take 5% of a neurotypical brain’s energy might cost you 25%.

That’s not sustainable.
That’s burnout.

It’s Okay to Make Life Easier

If a transition is hard for you, there’s always a reason—you just haven’t uncovered it yet. Once you do, you can design a small system that supports your brain instead of fighting it.

You don’t have to push harder. You just need the right tools and strategies.

So next time you struggle with a transition, pause and ask:
🧠 What am I doing now that’s hard to stop?
🧠 What am I trying to do next that feels hard to start?
🧠 What could I add in between to make it easier?

This is how we create real, sustainable change.

Final Thoughts

Transitions are hard—but not because you’re lazy or undisciplined. They’re hard because your brain processes them differently. The good news is: you can design your day to work with your brain, not against it.

Trust yourself.
Get curious.
And don’t be afraid to experiment.