Listen to Podcast
There’s a specific kind of frustration that comes with ADHD: You have something you need to do. It’s not even that big. And you just can’t make yourself do it. You try breaking it down, planning it out, cheering (even threatening) yourself to “just start”, but you get nothing. That's when many of us get frustrated or self critical. But the issue isn’t effort. It’s Dread.
The Dread Scale
One tool I use with clients is simple: Rate how much you dread a task from 0–10.
- 0 = no dread
- 10 = absolute dread (root canal level)
It's common for people to identify something that is high dread, but then debate themselves: “This shouldn’t be that hard” and “Other people just do this”. Dread isn't necessarily logical, but that doesn't mean it's not real.
The place we start in coaching is we believe ourselves. If you're dreading something, you're dreading it. You don't need to convince yourself (or others) that it's a "valid" reason to dread taking action. If you don't believe your own experience, you can’t problem-solve it.
Why Dread Matters
Dread changes how a task feels. It can make 10 minute task feel like hours and getting going feel impossible. I recently had a task I’d been avoiding for months: calling an insurance company. In my head, it was going to take 45 minutes. The reality was that it took 12. It wasn't a pleasant task by any means, but once dread entered in, it distorted my reality!
How to Work With Dread (Not Against It)
1. Choose Your Timing Carefully
High-dread tasks take more energy and bandwidth. If you’re already overwhelmed, try to move that thing to a place in your day when you'll have better resources.
2. Reduce Friction
Ask: What specifically is making this hard? Then problem solve if there is a way to make it better= decrease dread:
- Confusing? → get clarity
- Boring? → pair it with something else
- Time-consuming? → test it
You may not eliminate all of the dread, but you can make it significantly easier to take action.
The Most Important Shift
The worst thing you can do is dismiss yourself. “Just do it” doesn’t work for most of us, if it did, it already would have.
Instead:
- Acknowledge the dread
- Understand it
- Work with it
That’s how you actually get things done!
Need more support ?
I can help.
0 Comments