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If you have ADHD, you might believe that you need to work on being more consistent. But there's something much more important when it comes to showing up and building real self trust: being flexible.
Consistency asks us to show up the same way every day, but ADHD can make that an unrealistic ask. We live with more variability when it comes to regulating our attention, energy and our emotions. And that's just ADHD, if we add in hormonal shifts, co-occurring health or mental health struggles, intense jobs, parenting and all the other variables in adult life, we're setting ourselves up to fail if we expect to be identical every day.
But that doesn't mean that we can't get the things done that matter to us!
That doesn't mean that we can't get things done and trust ourselves, it just means that we have to find a way to work with different versions of ourselves.
We need to plan for other possibilities rather than waiting for the perfect, "get all the things done" version to show up (and judging ourselves when it doesn't).
Our goal: persistence. Not showing up the same way every time, but showing up again and again, even if you messed up yesterday or you're not at your best today. Flexibility allows you to embrace the version of you that is showing up right now and move forward with what matters to you.
But How?
- Flexibility over rigidity. If you drop a habit (say, after a vacation), you don't have to jump back in at full intensity. Ramp back up slowly. That may feel frustrating, but allowing yourself that version might mean getting back to that habit in one week... versus 3 months.
- Small versions still count. A 5-minute run instead of a 30-minute one still builds the habit, and more importantly, it builds trust in yourself that you'll come back to it.
- Persistence is a real strength. People with ADHD are often remarkably good at getting back up again, even after we flop. Allow yourself the flops and give yourself grace when it's time to get back up again.
The goal isn't to become a carbon copy of yourself every day. It's to trust that no matter which version of you shows up, you have a way to keep moving towards what matters to you.
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