The ADHD-Goldilocks Dilemma
How to Find Just Right
If you have ADHD, you know the Goldilocks struggle: it's hard to find "just right". Something is either not interesting enough to start or so interesting you can't put it down. A deadline is either so far away it doesn't register, or so close it triggers a full-blown panic.
It's easy to look at the fall out of that and assume it's due to not caring or not being "disciplined", but that's not the heart of what's going on. When you have a hard time finding the middle ground that allows you take action, you're always in a balancing act: enough pressure to get your nervous system activated, but not so much that you shut down.
How Body Doubling Helps
This is where body doubling comes in. Simply doing a task alongside someone else (even someone you don't know) can often create just enough gentle pressure to get you moving. You might not even need to share what you're doing or talk at all. This is not a drill sergeant standing over your shoulder, it's just another human who is present and aware that you're working on something.
I used to announce my plans out loud ("I'm going to the store" or "I'm taking a shower") without realizing why I was doing it. My announcements were something I knew I need, even if not on a conscious level. They created a tiny bit of "accidental outside accountability". For some of us, that's exactly what we need to get started. Pay attention to what's true for you, though. I've worked with others who have the opposite experience- once they say it out loud, they feel too much pressure and their motivation disappears.
Help Finding Your Answer
There's no universal answer here. The real work is figuring out what kind of outside pressure actually works for your brain and building your environment around it, rather than white-knuckling your way through deadlines. This kind of work is part art and part science- you can work with what you know about your brain and your personal preferences in order to get things done!
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