Superhero Mode, Jell-O Mode, and How To Find the Middle Ground
One of the most frustrating parts of ADHD is not knowing which version of you is going to show up.
If you’re like me, and like many of the people I work with, you probably have two modes. In superhero mode, you can do everything. You’re in full gear, knocking out your to-do list, ready to take on the world. Then comes Jell-O mode, where you collapse. And Jell-O mode is almost always the predictable end of superhero mode.
The goal isn’t more superhero days
When people start working on their brains, on their own or with a coach, they often assume the goal is to hack their way into more superhero days. That’s rarely what we’re working on. What we’re building is the middle: days that are good enough, where you can count on yourself and show up for what matters, even if it looks different.
If superhero and Jell-O work for you, and you’re doing well in your work, school, and relationships, there’s no reason to change. But for many of us, it stops working at some point. Even when it keeps working, the burnout afterward isn’t worth it. And swinging between the two modes erodes self-trust, because you never know which version is showing up.
Why “ADHD is a superpower” falls short
A superpower is something you control. If I could turn invisible but it kicked in while I was crossing the street, that’s not a superhero moment. If I could fly but took off in the middle of a meeting, same thing. The heart of ADHD is difficulty with regulation, and you don’t get to choose when hyperfocus or high energy turns on. Hyperfocus can be great, but treating it as a pure strength with no struggle does people a disservice.
How to build the middle mode
The biggest key is task initiation: starting things when you don’t have that burst of energy and motivation. You rarely get there through willpower. You get there by making things smaller when they’re overwhelming and clearer when they’re confusing.
When you’re working on initiation, you’re not actually working on the task itself, just your ability to start it. If laundry feels impossible, five or ten minutes, even unfinished, builds more self-trust than waiting for the day you can force yourself to complete it. Building flexibility is key because if a part of you believes it only counts when you finish, that's always going to make getting started harder.
The same goes for studying. If you’re doing nothing in Jell-O mode and all-nighters in superhero mode, committing to four hours every day is probably not your middle mode yet. Starting too big won’t last past a week or two. Shrink it until your brain thinks, "it would be kind of weird not to do this." Once you trust that starting means you’re allowed to stop, starting gets easier the next day, and the next week.
You still get to have all the modes
The point isn’t to live in the middle forever. Some days you’ll hyperfocus and enjoy it, and some days you’ll be in Jell-O mode. That’s being human. The point is having the middle available, so you have options and can get things done in a way that’s sustainable.
If you’d like support with learning how to do this, it’s exactly the work we do in my group coaching program. Use this link to learn more!
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