It's Not You, It's Them!
Last week I shared a story about someone who set boundaries related to their time. In my video, I pointed out that if this person had been one of my clients with ADHD, they would have assumed that the problem was them, not the unrealistic expectations!
You can watch a clip below or see the whole video on YouTube here.
This happens often in coaching. Clients enter our conversation wanting to change something (be more consistent, productive, etc.) but discover that the thing that's getting in their way isn't what they expected.
Once we support the actual problem, things change!
There's a LOT of Info Out There
We live in a time where there is NO shortage of information. Look up "productivity and ADHD" and you'll have pages of suggestions to sort through. So why doesn't that information help you make real, lasting changes?
Information without personalization is just "robot help".
I'll never forget when my typically chill and well-mannered mother in law lost her religion trying to get an automated system to understand the problem she was describing. By the end, she was literally screaming and cussing at the recorded voice on the other line!
The frustration is real. And yet when it happens with ADHD, we STILL assume that we're the ones getting it wrong.
Robot help just isn't made for nuanced problems.
It doesn't see you or your details.
It doesn't know the dozens of things you've already tried or why they didn't work.
It's not flexible enough to handle variables (like my mother in law's southern accent).
It can't consider your story, your strengths, or the layers you're juggling.
*Layers like parenting challenges, intense careers, health issues, hormones, etc.!
I've collected a good amount of knowledge during my personal and professional journey, but my coaching calls are not "info dumping". There are moments when I suggest or share, but the heart of the coaching process is collaboration. I'm not just listening to my clients until it's my turn to share, I'm listening to learn.
I'm learning what's getting in my their way. What resources they can access to solve the problem. What they've already tried and the results they had. I'm listening for beliefs and patterns. That means that if I work with 4 different people who bring the exact same goal to coaching, we're very likely to come up with 4 very different personalized plans.
Even if you never team up with a coach, embrace this approach when you self coach. Research solutions but search for the tools that work for you. Information can be power, but in the age we live in, it can also be noise.
Need more support? Learn more about my coaching below!
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